We went to Alyssa's 6 year physical at her regular pediatrician today. She's growing like a weed, 51 lbs, 46 1/8" - right on track with where she should be. She's amazing, she's beautiful. She had glucose in her urine which signaled high blood sugar - sure enough, 417 when we pricked her finger. She's been having major highs every day before lunch. Time to call the endocrinologist and make some adjustments.
As we were sitting in the pediatician talking with him - the office where she has gone for her whole life and we've been so many times - grief kind of overtook me and I got emotional. Sometimes I feel like we're living in some kind of nightmare and we're going to wake up sooner or later and Alyssa will have normal blood sugars, she won't have Diabetes anymore and everything will be "normal" again.
Dr. Davies (ped) told us that we need to be more worried about many low blood sugars since they bring seizures, comas and could even bring death; but the high blood sugars are dangerous for the long term affects for Alyssa.
It's like being on a seesaw and having to keep it perfectly level at all the time. But you can't, you can't do it.
It's exhausting and sometimes I look back and go, Oh my gosh... this is my life. This is my daughter's life. This is our reality. And it hurts.
Thank you so much for posting these updates Michaela. I know we will never truly understand what you go through on a daily basis, but thank you for sharing your struggles, triumphs, and your beautiful daughter with us :-)
ReplyDeleteI know...I can completely relate. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just making it all up. Maybe the doctors were wrong. Maybe it's just all one big misunderstanding.
ReplyDeleteI know those thought seem irrational. But it's true. I really wonder those things sometimes.
And then diabetes reminds me that it's very real. Like 570 the other night...or 50 the day before.
This is our reality. And I'm so thankful that I don't have to walk this journey alone.
YSIC